Ballsy Iranians Bypass Gov't Firewalls

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And you think YOUR job sucks... Carry BALLS

"Cocky" Graduation Prank

Ballsy or just plain fucking stupid? You decide.

Coast Guard from "Deadliest Catch" Join Balls Island

Deadliest Catch New Season - Coast Guard in Action - Funny home videos are a click away

It's no secret that the crab fisherman on Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch" have balls. Big, cold, shriveled crab catching balls. These guys routinely work for 20-30 continuous hours in freezing Bering Straits cold, hoisting perilous loads of crab from 800 lb pots, all while fighting rollicking waves and freezing salt spray tries to knock them on their asses. And you filed for worker's comp when the fax machine gave you a paper cut. Pussy.

But on Tuesday's episode of "Deadliest," the big balls award was stolen away by the U.S. Coastguards, responding to a mayday amidst typhoon grade winds and an damn angry ocean. The Katmai, a cod fishing boat, was sinking 900+ miles of the coast of Alaska and 14 sailor's were about to have a date with 40 degree waters.

Without hesitation the boys in orange lit the fires on two Jayhawk choppers and took the 10 hour journey through the shit weather to what, at first glance, looked like nothing but open water. Soon enough Jayhawk Captain Zack Kohler and his crew noticed some gumby suits in the ocean, frikkin' miraculously. Rescue swimmer Dave Coats zipped up his dive suit, took a long hard tug on his hang down and lowered into 10' chopping waters. God these guys fucking rock.

All said, the Coast Guard boys ended up saving four of the fisherman's lives. And speaking of balls, the survivor's themselves managed to stay alive 17 hours in a flimsy ass life raft in 40 degree water. Nice work fellas.

Yes, we recognize the fact that crab fisherman are ballsy- but the get paid real well to be so. At their government pittance, the Coast Guard routinely put their lives on the line for shit pay. And for that, they are now the newest residents of BALLS ISLAND.

May your balls hang low.

Quadruple Amputee, Maynard, is BALLS ISLAND Inagural Resident

Very rarely do things happen in such cosmically perfect harmony as this has. In setting up Balls Island, we strive to search the globe for those people who show a testitudinal fortitude so noteworthy, that tribute must be paid to their unwavering ballsiness.

Currently, the moon and Uranus and all the stars must be utterly and completely aligned, because as we begin this journey called Ballsisland.com, quadruple amputee Kyle Maynard was just completing his first Mixed Martial Arts fight in Auburn, Al. That's right. A no armed and no legged MMA fighter. Nope, no joke here.

I'm guessing Maynard felt life with no arms and legs was not enough of a challenge; that fighting in no-holds-barred MMA action was the right thing to do. If this doesn't clearly, succinctly and unequivocally spell out BALLS, than my new friends, I don't know what does.

We must not overlook the fact that Maynard barely qualified for the fight. As John Morgan from MMAJUNKIE.com explained it,
"Although not part of the original plan, Maynard did not wear gloves to the cage. Commentators blamed humidity as a potential culprit, citing a difficulty in securing the gloves to Maynard's appendages. As such, Maynard was ruled unable to throw strikes with his genetically shortened arms. "

But that didn't stop Maynard, who charged at his confused, and possibly scared shitless opponent, Bryan Fry, who dodged Maynard like a poisonous spider monkey.

But despite the ubiquitous hype surrounding the fight (TV news coverage, Pay-per-view, etc...) Maynard came up, err, short. As MMAJunkie.com explained it, Maynard’s face “showed obvious frustration at the end of the opening round, and Fry refused to back down from the strategy. Maynard…simply could not close the distance on his opponent and work the fight to the mat. Maynard's inability to strike had little impact on the outcome, and the debuting fighter dropped a unanimous decision.”

Nonetheless, because of his tenacity, his drive, and his downright ballsiness, Maynard is the charter resident of BALLS ISLAND. And with no legs, we know how your balls hang, friend.

See him fight on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSHDWmhyDeA